Feeling utterly exhausted by your baby’s sleep (or lack of it)? You’re not alone. All babies wake to feed at night. It’s normal and healthy for them but may not have been what you expected before having your baby. Understanding of what normal baby sleep looks like is limited. Companies can therefore make money by convincing you that your baby’s sleep pattern is abnormal and needs fixing.

There is a huge variation in how frequently young babies wake at night and how much sleep they need in 24 hours. Following your baby’s lead will help you observe what they need. Healthy babies who wake very regularly are not suffering from a sleep disorder that needs fixing. They’re just doing what babies have always done throughout history.  It’s dangerous for young babies to sleep deeply, or in very long stretches. 

Where should my baby sleep at night?

There are several safe options, and you can assess and choose what works best for your family. 

Cot in the parent’s room: 

Before six months it’s recommended to sleep in the same room as a parent. This is because your breathing stimulates your baby’s breathing at night. Having the cot close to your bed also reduces how fully you have to wake up in the night when you get up to feed your baby or change their nappy. 

A baby’s cot should have a firm mattress with no toys, cot bumpers, pillows or anything else in the cot. 

Sidecar or Bedside Cot 

Some cots can be set up so that the mattress of the parent’s bed and the mattress of the cot are abutting and make one continuous surface. It’s really important there are no gaps a baby can get stuck in. This setup can mean you can roll over to breastfeed in a side lying position, and then roll away, with your baby remaining in their own sleep space. 

Bedsharing or cosleeping 

When the Safe Sleep Seven guidelines are followed, bedsharing is no riskier than separate sleep surfaces. (see more on this below).

Evidence shows that breastfeeding parents get the most sleep when bed sharing. 

It’s not recommended for babies under 6 months to sleep in a separate room. This can increase the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) and also makes breastfeeding harder. 

It is never safe for a baby to sleep with an adult on a sofa, armchair or rocking chair as they can get trapped. 

Daytime naps?

For daytime naps a baby under 6 months needs to be in the same room as an adult. You might set up a cot space downstairs but it might be your baby isn’t so keen to sleep without being held. You may choose to let baby snooze in a sling so you have your hands free. If using a sling it’s important to do this safely – see more on this here. 

Alternatively you may take the opportunity to have a sleep yourself and doze with them in a (safely set up – see more below) bed. You may want to hold them whilst you binge watch your favourite TV series, text your friends or read.

The Safe Sleep Seven 

1. Breastfeeding: Evidence shows that if your baby is exclusively breastfed, you will naturally position them at the height of the breast, and position your body around them in a “C curl”, which will keep them safe at night and ensure you cannot roll onto them. Evidence shows those who are breastfeeding are also in synchronised lighter sleep or deeper sleep at the same time as their baby. Formula fed babies will not have in-sync sleep cycles and will position themselves higher up the bed, closer to pillows which is more dangerous. No one has yet studied what happens if your baby is fed exclusively expressed milk, or is combination fed formula and breast milk. 
2. Non-smoking: Exposure to cigarette smoke is a risk factor for SIDS, and being in bed with a smoking parent increases that risk – that includes if you never smoke in bed or even in the house. 
3. Being sober: Alcohol, recreational drugs and some prescription medications can increase drowsiness and will make you less responsive to your baby at night. This increases the risks to your baby.
4. Healthy and full term: Premature and low birth weight babies are at higher risk of SIDS, wherever they sleep at night. We don’t know when this risk normalises as this has not been studied. 
5. On their back: A baby should always be put to bed on their back. If you use a side lying position to breastfeed your baby will be lying on their side whilst feeding. It’s helpful to try to gently roll them onto their back once they’re finished feeding.  
6. Lightly dressed and not swaddled:  Swaddling restricts babies movements, and may result in overheating and is therefore not recommended. Overheating increases the risk of SIDS. Your baby will be kept warm by your body heat and will need only light clothing at night. 
7. A safe surface A firm, flat mattress, with no gaps your baby can get stuck in. 

 Setting up your bed safely

A study showed that 9 in 10 parents cosleep with their baby at some stage, often without planning to. Setting up your bed safely as described above, even if you don’t plan to bedshare, will mean that if you do fall asleep with your baby in bed by accident, they will be safer.

If you’ve taken the Safe Sleep Seven into account, here’s what you’ll need to set up your bed safely:

• A firm, flat mattress
• No duvets near your baby 
• No gaps between the bed and wall, or between mattress and bed frame, where a baby could be trapped 
• Consider the distance to the floor – some people choose to use floor beds to cosleep, or have their baby in the middle of a big bed. 
• Keep pillows minimal, and away from your baby
• Keeping long hair tied up 
• No dressing gown ties in your bed 

Many families choose to use light blankets instead of duvets. Some people keep a duvet over their bottom half away from their baby. In winter many find wearing jumpers or warm layers with breastfeeding access to bed helps them stay warm. 

You can find more information about normal baby sleep from BASIS here 

An LLL Leader (breastfeeding counsellor) can talk to you in more detail about your family’s sleeping options – you can contact us here. 

You’ll find much more information on sleep and the early days in general in the “Art of Breastfeeding”, which you can buy here via our bookshop. And you can WhatsApp us here for 1:1 support.